Friday, May 30, 2014

bras for bros

The cashier at the Guess store was ringing up my purchase — a pair of jeans — and asked me for my phone number. I hate all those "reward" card systems usually (they reward the merchant more than the consumer in my experience) but I remembered that I'd already signed up in a moment of weakness a couple of years ago, so I went ahead and gave her my number. "Who knows?" I thought to myself. "I might save a few dollars."

To my surprise the cashier pulled a tray of what looked like women's lingerie from beneath the register. "This is your reward today, a bandeau top." My eyes grew wide. I said, "You realize I'm a man don't you?" She laughed. I said, "What exactly is a bandeau?" She said, "It's kind of like a bra, but without the hardware." My eyes grew wider. "What size and color would you like?" I had no earthly idea. I said, "Give me a white in medium." She plucked a white bandeau — really it's a bra — from the tray, wrapped it in tissue paper and put it in my bag. Worst reward ever. But hey, free bra, so who am I to complain?