My friend's dog Daisy loves to eat condoms. He says he can't leave one on the floor for even one second before Daisy runs over and snarfs it up. He thinks it's the lube that makes the condom seem so delicious to her, or else she's just really stupid. In any case, he'd taken her out for a walk in the park one afternoon . . .
Daisy already had a bad name among the neighborhood dog owners -- undeservedly -- for attacking small dogs in the park, so it didn't help her reputation any when Daisy decided to shit out a used condom in the middle of the dog playground.
Actually, she shit it out only halfway. The condom became lodged in the dog's asshole, so that as she strained and relaxed in an effort to fully excrete it, the condom expanded and shrank like a toy balloon. Daisy panicked and started scooting across the grass, scooting and howling to no avail. The condom was stuck, and my friend had to pull it out with his fingers.
