Friday, April 13, 2012

i dreamed . . .

. . . I was a participant in an indoor lawn bowling/Chinese medicine olympics. I was a little uncomfortable with the fact that I had no idea how to lawn bowl, but I figured I'd give it my best shot, so I looked at the other contestants to learn how to roll the ball. Sidestep, sidestep, smooth roll down the middle. Sidestep, sidestep, smooth roll down the middle. Seemed easy enough to do. My t-shirt was too short, so I put on a sweater. First question. How do you feel about doping?

"Doping?" I asked, seeking clarification. "Are you referring to the practice of medicating elderly patients before bedtime with a large dose of belladonna?" Yes, a voice replied. "Let me say it this way," I said, trying to be diplomatic, "those side effects you're seeing in your patients, every one of them -- hallucinations, confusion, incontinence, thirst -- can all be attributed to belladonna, especially when it's given in doses higher than three hundred milligrams. I'm going to leave it at that and let you make up your own mind about it." Then I took off my sweater and sent a wooden ball rolling down the long indoor lawn.